Free Bar-B-Que and a Boyfriend

Don't anyone get excited..it's not what you think.
My friend Natalie turned me on to the term "Pretend Boyfriend". Of course, I interpreted that the way I wanted. So, I now have a "Pretend Boyfriend". The good thing about my PB (easier to type PB than Pretend Boyfriend each time) is he doesn't know I exist. Or if he did know, it wouldn't matter. Finally, someone who doesn't care what I look like, what I do, or how ignorant I can be. He will never see me do something stupid at a party.....(I am SO not mentioning what I did at the Reunion), he won't tune me out, because he can't hear me and what's best is...I get to visit when I want. There is specific time that I have to be there, no damn reporting in...just me and my computer...which is starting to frighten me because tomorrow it will be cut off with the electricity and phone!!!! WHAT WILL I DO?
Anyhow, I don't have to entertain him or get him a glass of his favorite beverage. What a perfect pretend relationship. He is funny and dare I say a tad warped? What I really like is that I can go months without visiting and then when I pop by it is like nothing's changed. Ahhhhhhhhhh to have a pretend boyfriend. It rocks.
As we all read in my previous post today, I am broker than broke, on the verge of poor and losing the battle fast. Now for the upside. All we had left to eat in the house today was cereal(yeah Pauly a whole 2 servings), bread and peanut butter and no money to buy any food until that darn check comes. Anyhow I was driving back home from dropping off my daughter and I saw our local park filled with people. Then it hit me "FREE FOOD". There was a neighborhood thing at the park and there was FREE FOOD! Man I didn't miss a beat, I went sailing up into that parking lot, hopped out of the car and got two big boxes to go. One for me and one for my Not-so-pretend husband. My daughter was at a friend's house or I would have brought some home for her as well. I walked in the door with the food and the dog and husband both fell off the couch drooling. We sat down like people who hadn't eaten in months. It was quite disgusting but ohhhhhhh so good. Now if someone could point me to the FREE Desserts, I'll just make my way over.......