Can I get a Do Over?

I often wonder why it takes me 2 weeks to write on my blog. It isn’t as if I’m sitting around thinking up something intelligent or even profound to say or complain about. I could talk about how I boldly told everyone how friggin fat I was, promised to post my weight weekly, then weighed myself two days later and had lost 2 pounds. (214) Before you get all high five on me (sorry Pauly I know high five’s are so last week) and want to congratulate me…let me continue…I was so happy I was gonna sit right down and blog about it. Something like life or school starting or some such shit interrupted me and then when I reweigh myself I’d gained 1.5 pounds. Oh no, not bringing me up to 215.5 no it was 2.5 MORE than the fucking 216 I started at!!! Holy shit. So yeah the weigh in for last week is 217.5. I haven’t dared go near that scale since. Yeah so I could go on and on about that ….or I could talk about how I pulled my "everyone is so funny and smart and replies so well and I can’t even post a comment anywhere because I think I’m a total gork" head out of my butt to finally comment on a blog that has lots of followers and…well…I went ahead and commented. Yeah go ahead…scream YOU GO GIRL! (now we’re both out dated). So I quickly wrote one of my mind numbing comments that flow out of my fingers without passing my brain…and I hit submit. You ever wanna scream DO OVER at the computer? My problem (among many) is this; I type like I talk. Bad grammar, cussing like a sailor and run on sentences from hell. Plus I just spew. Words come flowing out that didn’t even have a thought process to them. You know how I use those stupid ……….dots……well that is what I do when I can’t quite think of the word I want to say/write. It is stuck somewhere between head and fingers. Then Ka-chunk, something gives way and those fingers start to typing again without any forethought. I hardly ever proofread because I’ll go back and erase everything. Hence the typos and punctuation that probably screws with every anal human’s head. See…it happened just now…I was going to tell you something and I went off on a tear about something else. Well…. kinda….okay now I remember where I was going. Anyhow, I hit submit on the comment thing. Oh was reading along, as it was about to send and realized I didn’t want to send it anymore. I must have hit cancel 20 times. I wanted out. I couldn’t believe I just sent that friggin comment. It’s like going on a date then coming home and calling the guy or girl and leave a message about what a good time you had and yadda yadda yadda. Then you hang up and wish you hadn’t done that. Now you look needy, stupid, or whatever emotion you didn't want to look like. Worse yet you may have had a bubble in your throat while talking or snorted or done something unimaginable. This is when you wanna scream DO OVER!!!! I WANT A FUCKING DO OVER PLEASE!!!!! Okay, so that’s how I’m feeling. What the hell was I thinking? I only leave comments on certain friend’s blogs and I only do that like once a month or so. It takes me that long to get over whatever I said and how stupid it sounded. What makes it worse is that the message has not come through yet. An hour after I sent it, I sit here hoping that I hit that cancel button just in time. Hey that reminds me…I need to go take my meds!