MOO!

Have you ever had one of those unfortunate moments where you see an image on a screen that is so horrifying that you have to look away? Yeah well, it happened to me and it has stuck with me. The image you ask? Well…Prepare yourself. It was..uh…it was my backside. No not just a glimpse in the mirror it was a full-fledged moving picture of my entire back. I was getting some candy at work and was looking at the little TV screens that show all the camera views around the place and there it was! Me, getting candy. Strange how you never really see a full view of your back. I had no idea how WIDE MY FUCKING ASS IS! Sheesh it didn’t help that while viewing this picture of my big self, I was snarking down sugar coated orange slices.
So it has come to this. Since I changed jobs in January, and I was no thin chickie back then, I’ve gone from being a large woman to a VERY large woman with blubber butt syndrome. Yeah Yeah, I know all you chubby chasers out there are thinking "woohoo more ounce to pounce". Well, while I appreciate the fact that there are men and women out there that find it quite appealing, I for one don’t care for it on my ass.
At least at my old job I was slinging 50 lb. bags over my shoulders, hauling 200 and 300 pounds of things to awaiting trucks, chasing loose animals and a few other things that at least kept the lard in check. Not I sit on my chair at work and just let the muscles turn into rubbery bits of bounce. Don’t get me wrong, I love my new job. Less stress and all that but hey!!! I’ve gained almost 15 pounds in 7 months. This has to stop.
I don’t have the funds to buy a new wardrobe and I really shouldn’t have to. I tried on some larger size clothing that a friend gave me and UGH! Is it completely necessary to make big girl clothing so friggin ….well I can’t find a word that describes how it makes me feel. The fact is a lot of the clothes make you feel FAT! Yeah, I know I AM fat but I don’t need clothing at makes me feel and look bigger.
What is the solution? Hell if I know. We all know that I don’t "do" diets. I like exercise but when am I suppose to do that? Oh yeah in between work, trying to clean the house and spending what quality time I have with my daughter. Here is what I’m going to try to do.
Start posting my weight once a week right here for all the world to see. Trust me, I won’t lie about it.
Try to eat a little earlier in the evening. Ya think having a full meal at 9 at night might be an issue? DUH!
Encourage the cook (dear husband ) to make a bit lighter fare. Hey it doesn’t all need to be fried and have gravy.
Start exercising with my daughter. She wants a skateboard for her birthday. I can’t afford one but I’m hoping one of her Aunt’s or Uncle’s can handle it. She also wants in line skates. So if I can find some in-line skates in my big ass size 10.5 foot in the clearance bin I’ll start skating with her. I think it would do us both some good. I could come home from work, strap on the skates with my girl and take off! In the meantime, I’m going to just take long walks with the dog and have H ride her bike.
I know there are a million ways to lose weight fast, but I don’t do it that way. I have to make small changes that fit in with my life. So here I go. The first weigh-in…shield your eyes from the glare
216 lbs.! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! I’m a cow.
Okey dokey folks. When you can get your jaw back from the floor…...start sending those fat melting thoughts my way.